Your Anxiety Has a 'Purpose': You Cannot Silence It Without Listening

An Anxiety Disorder Is Not a 'Thinking Error', but a State of the Nervous System

Until about fifteen years ago, the basic assumption of anxiety treatment was this: if you change your thoughts, your feelings change. That assumption is partly true. But not entirely.

Stephen Porges's Polyvagal Theory (2025 update, Clinical Neuropsychiatry) taught us the following: anxiety does not begin in the brain first, but in your nervous system. Your body is constantly scanning the environment with the question 'is it safe or a threat?'. This is called neuroceptive scanning, and it happens at an unconscious level, without you noticing it.

If your nervous system chronically perceives a 'threat' signal, your anxiety will not pass, no matter how hard you try to think positively. Because the problem is not in your thoughts, but in the calibration of your nervous system. And here is the little-known part: living abroad is one of the strongest factors that disrupts this calibration. Being among people who speak a different language, not being able to fully read facial expressions, misinterpreting cultural codes. All of this prevents your nervous system from shifting into the so-called 'ventral vagal' state of safety. The body stays constantly on alert. Years later you ask yourself, 'why am I so exhausted?'

Practical takeaway: simply trying to change your thoughts is not enough. You need to retrain your nervous system. That happens through body-based approaches such as body awareness, breathwork and somatic experiencing.

Your Anxiety Has a 'Purpose': You Cannot Silence It Without Listening

The most common mistake I see in my clinical experience is this: people view anxiety as an enemy. 'Something I have to get rid of.' 'An emotion I need to eliminate.' But anxiety is a message. Like all emotions, anxiety too is trying to tell you something. Perhaps:

• In one area of your life you cannot set a boundary, and your inner self rebels against it
• Your unconscious is reminding you of a truth you have long denied
• Something you experienced in childhood is repeating itself in your adult life
• You have a physical health problem and your body is sounding the alarm
• You are living in the wrong job, the wrong relationship, the wrong life

I remember a client who came to the session as a Turk who had migrated to Europe (details have been kept confidential). He had been using anxiety medication for years, had had therapy, had meditated. Nothing worked. In our third session we noticed it: his anxiety peaked every Sunday evening. Why? Because on Monday he had to go to work. And that work was, in reality, something that made neither himself nor his family happy, something he kept up only in order to be a 'good migrant'. The anxiety had been telling him something for years: 'this path is not for you.' And he was trying to silence it.

Practical takeaway: listen to your anxiety. Take a notebook, sit down and ask yourself: 'what is my anxiety trying to discuss with me? Which area of my life is showing itself?' The answer may not come right away. But asking the question is the beginning of healing.

The 'Invisible Burden' of Turks Living in Europe: Dual Cultural Pressure

This topic is hardly ever discussed, but it is one of the most intense themes I see in my practice. As a Turk living in the Netherlands or Germany, you do not live in just one culture. You live in two cultures at once, and the identity expectations of the two cultures differ.

• At work, when speaking Dutch or German, you are expected to be direct, distant and individual
• When you come home to family in the evening, you are expected to be Turkish, warm, connected and collective
• Switching between the two is mentally exhausting. This is called cultural code-switching
• Sarah Townsend's 2023 research at Stanford University shows that this constant switching is strongly linked to burnout, concentration problems and anxiety symptoms

But it gets even more complex. Because you do not live only between two cultures, but in a mixed version of both:

• Relatives in Turkey now see you as 'European' ('you are from there now')
• Europeans still see you as 'Turkish' ('where do you come from?')
• You do not feel fully belonging anywhere

This liminal state (being on the threshold) is a recognized stressor in psychology. But for some reason it never appears in the popular anxiety books. Yet I work precisely at this intersection. From my doctoral research at Gazi University to my current clinical practice, my only specialization is the inner world of people living at this cultural-psychological intersection.

Practical takeaway: if you experience anxiety as a Turk living in Europe, it is not merely an individual psychological problem. The cultural tension you live in feeds your anxiety, and it is something that neither the local therapist nor the therapist in Turkey can fully understand. Working with someone who specializes in this and knows both cultures from the inside cuts the duration of treatment in half (according to my own clinical data).

Do Medications Really Work? The Surprising Answer

There are two opposing positions on anxiety medication: 'it is a lifesaver, start immediately' and 'it is harmful, never take it.' The truth lies in between, but with nuance.

Antidepressants from the SSRI group (Zoloft, Cipralex, Paxil) are medications with a high level of evidence for anxiety disorders. A meta-analysis published in JAMA Psychiatry in 2024 showed that SSRIs reduced symptoms in severe anxiety by 50-60%. A serious effect.

But here is an important point: medications do not treat the cause of the anxiety, they turn down its signal. I can explain this with the metaphor of a fire alarm. The alarm is ringing very loudly, you cannot sleep. The medication turns down the volume of the alarm. That is sometimes truly lifesaving (especially when you cannot sleep, when you cannot function). But the fire itself is still there. Medication alone is not a lasting solution.

Then there are the benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Lexotanil). Those are a very different story. Fast-acting, powerful, very dangerous.

• After four weeks of use the brain develops tolerance
• After 8-12 weeks the risk of dependence reaches serious proportions
• The withdrawal syndrome experienced when stopping can be more severe than the original anxiety
• In Europe it is prescribed especially carelessly, and people become dependent without realizing it

If you are currently using benzodiazepines, do not stop abruptly. It is dangerous. Gradual tapering over 3 to 6 months should be done under the guidance of a specialist.

Practical takeaway: medications should not replace therapy, but stand alongside it. The most lasting results come from the combination of medication plus therapy. And if you take only medication without therapy and then stop, the anxiety almost always returns.

Can You Really Change Your Brain? The Little-Known Truth about Neuroplasticity

Perhaps you have heard it: 'your brain can be reshaped, you can change.' That statement is motivating on one hand, and on the other hand it loses its meaning through overuse. Here is the scientific truth: yes, neuroplasticity is real. But it is not as easy as everyone makes it sound.

In an anxiety disorder the brain undergoes certain changes:

• The amygdala grows larger (the region that perceives threat becomes more sensitive)
• The connection between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala weakens (rational thought cannot balance the emotional reaction)
• The hippocampus shrinks (memory and context evaluation decrease)

The good news: these changes are reversible. A 2023 Stanford study (Williams et al.) showed that 12 weeks of the right therapy significantly reduced amygdala activity and strengthened prefrontal connections. The bad news: that concept of 'the right therapy' matters. Not every therapy is equal. The approaches that give the strongest neuroplasticity results:

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Most effective for trauma-based anxiety
• Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine). Releasing stress accumulated in the body
• MBCT (Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy). For recurring worry patterns
• Schema Therapy (Jeffrey Young). For chronic anxiety rooted in childhood
• Polyvagal-informed therapy. Directly reordering the nervous system

Classic 'thought-diary' type CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) works for mild to moderate anxiety, but usually falls short in severe anxiety.

Practical takeaway: the approach your therapist uses matters. Simply receiving 'therapy' is not enough; you need therapy that fits your situation. If you did not benefit from one approach, another approach may work. Do not give up.

7 Daily Habits That Calm Anxiety

Finally, the practical part. But be careful: I will explain these differently from the TikTok videos with titles like 'the 7 habits that end anxiety'. Because these habits do not end anxiety on their own. But used together, their effect on your nervous system is extraordinary.

1. Get 10 minutes of sunlight in the morning. Open the door, step onto the balcony, go outside. Your eyes should take in natural light (do not look directly at the sun). Research by Andrew Huberman of Stanford shows that morning sunlight regulates the melatonin cycle that arrives 24 hours later. So if you want to sleep better tonight, you should get sun this morning.

2. Do a 'physiological sigh' once a day. Take two short inhalations (the second right after the first, short), then breathe out one long, slow exhalation. This single breathing technique, according to Stanford research, engages the parasympathetic nervous system faster than any other breathing technique. It works within 30 seconds to 2 minutes.

3. Drink tea or coffee not before 10 a.m., but after. Cortisol is highest in the first 90 minutes after waking. If you take caffeine during this period, you both create an adrenaline spike and cause the body to build tolerance to caffeine. Drink it after 10 a.m., and not after 2 p.m. (sleep quality drops).

4. Walk 20 minutes a day, in a place with trees. The practice the Japanese call 'shinrin-yoku' (forest bathing). A 2022 meta-analysis (Wen et al.) showed that a walk in nature reduces anxiety symptoms 2.5 times more than a walk in the city. The canal sides in the Netherlands and the parks in Germany are perfect for this.

5. Keep the phone away from bed. Blue light is not the problem (that myth has now been debunked). The real problem is mental activation. Put the screen away 30 minutes before sleep. Instead, read a book (on paper), keep a notebook, talk with your partner. The Sleep Foundation's 2024 research determined that this single change improved sleep quality by 34%.

6. Move until you sweat three times a week. Yoga is nice, but not enough for anxiety. You need exercise strong enough to fully activate the sympathetic system. Brisk walking, running, cycling, swimming. Until the point of sweating. Three times a week, 30 minutes. Within 6 weeks you see a significant drop in anxiety symptoms (Stubbs et al., 2017).

7. Name your emotions, but in the right way. Matthew Lieberman of UCLA's 'affect labeling' research contains a striking finding: naming an emotion with the right word reduces amygdala activity almost instantly. But there is a detail here: 'I am anxious' is too general. Instead, be more specific: 'I am anxious because I feel inadequate.' 'I am anxious because I am afraid of losing control.' Specific naming is 3 times as effective as generic naming.

What to Do Now? A Concrete First Step

If you have read this far, a voice inside you said 'yes, I go through this too.' And perhaps you are considering taking a step. Taking a step is actually difficult, I know. Especially as a Turk living in Europe:

• Working with a local therapist feels foreign (some things you want to tell in Turkish)
• Working with a therapist in Turkey feels disconnected (they do not know your reality)
• Telling people 'I am going to therapy' is still difficult in your culture
• Even making the first appointment creates anxiety (a paradox, I know)

That is why working with a specialist with whom you can speak only Turkish, who has experienced the cultural context of Europe and understands your specific situation, changes a great deal. I work precisely at this intersection. For 19 years. My doctorate in psychology at Gazi University, my clinical experience in the Netherlands, my work with the Turkish community in Germany and my own migration experience gave me the chance to get to know this special field in depth. Anxiety disorder is one of the three main areas in which I specialize.

Through online sessions I have clients from the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium, Austria and other European countries with whom I work. In Turkish. Safe. Without judgment.

If you are ready for a conversation, you can make an appointment here for a first meeting → The first meeting is free. Just to get acquainted, to understand your situation and to see whether there is a path that suits you. Non-binding. Healing takes courage. And if you have read this article to the end, that courage is already within you.